I have always had a fierce and burning scorn for Dora the Explorer.
Wth is on the tip of Boot's tail? |
During all of this I still scorned Dora, but I had to stop making fun of her because the Things loved her so much. And sometimes when I was riding down the river in a couch boat for the fifteenth time I found myself getting caught up in the game and willing to play along. And other times when watching the latest Dora on loan from the library I would catch myself answering Dora when she asked her stupid questions. But it's for the kids right?
Wrong. It didn't stop there. Not only did I play the games but I became the characters. I can be a kick-ass backpack or map. And I sat in that couch-boat on the river longer than the girls did. I got way way way to into watching the shows. In a creepy way. I shouted the right answer to Dora and made everyone else in the house yell it with me (she just stares at you waiting if you don't). And nobody screams "SWIPER NO SWIPING" louder than me when that little bastard is moving in on Dora's stuff. He even has the nerve to steal from Boots. Boots! Who did Boots ever hurt? Swiper is hardcore. And now I get legitimately excited when I find Dora stuff. Buy all the Dora toys! They need their own backpacks! Maps! The Dora picnic basket! Dora has a cousin? Awesome! Bring on Diego! The coolest I've ever been in the eyes of my nieces was working at an animal rehab center "just like Diego." And you know what? I was just like Diego. And I was awesome.
And now that I've learned to love these things what do you think these twerps did? Got into Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell! I have major issues with Tinkerbell.
What else does Dora have in her backpack?!?!?