Late at night, I'm still at work
I'm trying not to be a jerk.
But there's still people in the store
So I can't leave and work the floor.
(Which means I have to stay quite late.)
I look at them and start to hate,
their humdrum life which made them say:
"I think I'll go to Kohl's today!"
And so they leave at 10 o'clock,
and then they shop and shop and shop.
And when we announce "we're closed!"
They say "Let me buy my clothes!"
And then it's "Let me pay my bill!"
"Honor my coupon, I know you will!"
Finally, at last we're free!
One comes back, "I have to pee!"
Another, hiding in the back
Is tearing up the discount rack.
They've thrown it all upon the floor,
They've stolen some and then what's more:
They tell me that the store's all wrong,
All the lines are much too long.
The mirrors are in a rotten place,
They never saw a friendly face.
All our stuff is foreign made,
The make-up isn't just their shade.
The ornament they've hauled around
Has fallen, broken on the ground.
The signs are all too hard to read,
The clearance isn't what they need.
The shopping carts all were gone,
Or were too small, or big, or long.
I smile and think "if that's so true,"
"Then what the @#$% is wrong with you?"
No one forced you through our door
And if you asked I'm pretty sure
That every worker in this place
Would gladly tell you to your face
That you can kindly go to hell
And take your kids and dog as well.
