What I didn't realize was that apparently the vet uses crack as a pain killer.
The kittens arrived home and Anatoly zipped out of his crate and raced around the room, purring maniacally.
I've never had my genitals snipped so I guess I can't judge, but I don't think the first thing I would do upon arriving home would be to leap from the floor to the bed to the floor to the bedside table to the chair to the back of the chair and finally to the bookcase where I most definitely wouldn't knock my pain medication and deodorant to the floor in my purring ecstasy.
Amelia's response was much more what I expected. She dragged her poor, tubby little body out of the crate and took refuge under my bed. When I tried to pull her out to put her on the nice blanket I laid down for her she growled at me. She's never growled at me before.
But like I said, I can't judge.
I left them locked in the room for a while until I heard a crash so I ran back and discovered that Anatoly had somehow knocked over both cat crates and, once again, his medicine and my deodorant.
I reached down to pet him and see if he was ok and he started writhing under my hand, purring and purring. And then he looked up at me and his eyes were HUGE and fully dilated, even though all the lights were on. I gave him food and he seemed happier, at least he hasn't spewed all over the floor yet.
Finally I came in here to use my computer and make sure he didn't kill himself and he started BOUNCING up and down. He jumped halfway up the chair, halfway up the bed, halfway up me, and he just did these weird little crack kitty hops all over the room. I peeked under the bed and Amelia was staring into space with these big red circles around her eyes, totally stoned.
I thought "maybe his pain medicine will calm him down!" But no, he just freaked out and insisted on being let out of the room. I let him until he started bounding around the living room. Then I locked him in my room and it was like he had just arrived again.
My attempt to translate his behavior:
"Holy crap! I don't know what they gave me at the vet but I feel GREAT. Is that a chair? A CHAIR?! I've got climb up this chair...oh my gosh! Is that the floor? THE FREAKIN FLOOR??? I HAVE to be on the floor! Ouch, that hurt, why do I hurt there? Wait they didn't-OMGOSH THOSE ORANGE PILL BOTTLES LOOK LIKE THE BEST THINGS EVER!!!!"
Then I pet him and he starts spazzing again:
"TO THE WINDOW! TO THE WALL! TILL THE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN MY-something's wrong here..."
I locked him in his crate so Amelia could eat and the whole time he was in there he ran around in circles. Since that crate is too small to actually run around in circles in he just wound up rubbing all the walls in turn and banging his head repeatedly into the door. But I could tell what he was getting at.
He wolfed down more food and then rolled around on my keyboard (and opened 50 Internet Explorer browser windows, I don't even use Explorer) and he has FINALLY passed out. His head is on the keyboard and every time I bump him to hit "t" his ears twitch.
ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt....
Just kidding, he moved. That would have been mean. Now he's blocking...well he's blocking that letter between "P" and "R" in the alphabet. I can't hit the actual button you see.
Q! He stretched! Yay!
He doesn't look like he's on crack, but trust me, he is. He's just finally crashed.
And this poor baby:
These are her red circles. They're normally completely white so you can see how stoned she is:
And on a completely different note, this is my crazy burn I got from the wood stove. Don't touch fire! It hurt so bad, and I was babysitting so I couldn't even swear like I wanted to.
Hopefully my poor kitties will continue to be good (the vet says they were SUPER good and friendly, suck it other cats!) and they won't lick their sutures and such because then I'll have to cone them and I think somehow a cat on crack in a cone would be more sad than funny.
We should try it on a person. :D
