I like to think that I'm a nice person. I like to think that I try and make people feel good, and give compliments when they're due.
Sometimes that all goes out the window. Literally.
I was in my room with my cousin Mary and my friend Jon and I was feeling very...peppy. We were watching this kid walk his dog in the lot by my window and his dog did his business and it LOOKED like the kid was going to walk away and leave it.
"He better clean up after his dog." said Mary.
"I don't think he's going to." said Jon.
"Oh he will." said I.
Still feeling peppy, I opened my window and yelled "Hey clean up after your dog MORON!" And then amazingly he went and got a bag to clean up after his dog! I watched him dance back to the poop pile...I watched him bend over and stand back up 20 times...and as I watched I realized, "He's special ed. I just screamed at a special ed kid and called him a moron." Jon and Mary laughed hysterically. And I officially am no longer a good person.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Hamsters are not for me...
I received some money for my birthday and I decided that since I had the cage, the food, the water bottle, and the shavings, I would buy a hamster. I dragged my unwilling friend to the pet store and chose my new pet: an adorable, grey, female bear hamster. An employee came to help me, took me around to the cages and told me I could reach in and grab the hamster while he held the box. I don't have any experience with hamsters so I just reached in and grabbed her-and she slipped away like a panicked piece of soap. I tried scooping the hamster and it ran and hid by the door. So I scooped it towards the door thinking that it would HAVE to stay in my hand or risk plummeting to the floor.
This is where I severely over-estimated the intelligence of hamsters.
The hamster did in fact plummet to the floor where I finally picked it up properly (by scooping it and covering it with both hands). The employee said "uh...I think she's ok," (at this point I realized I had also over-estimated the intelligence of the store employees) but since she appeared uninjured I went ahead and signed their pet agreement form promising I wouldn't harm the hamster and made my purchase. Meanwhile my friend had about died laughing and asked me if I only bought it because I dropped it.
Friends are so nice to have.
And yes. I bought it because I dropped it.
When I finally arrived home and reached into the box the hamster was shivering in the corner. I blithely put her in the cage and then left it alone. Partly because she needed to adjust and partly because every time I stuck my hand in the cage the damn thing growled at me.
Although I can't really blame her, my cat thought HE needed to sit on top of the cage 24/7 so I don't know how restful it was.
Long story short? The hamster died. Quickly.
Obviously I had purchased a defective hamster. So I took it to the store, with my receipt of course, and asked to return it.
"Hi can I help you?"
"My hamster died."
"Did you buy it here?"
"...Yes. Yes I bought it here. And it died. I have my receipt, and I brought the hamster with me."
"(opens box) Oh, yeah it's dead. I can give you another hamster or store credit."
"Umm...(quietly) I'd like another hamster."
The manager got me the other hamster. And I (ironically) signed another pet agreement. And I took my hamster straight home, put it in his super clean cage and locked the cage in the bathroom so no cats could get in there. And about two days later? The hamster died.
There was no way I was going to return another dead hamster. So I shamefully buried it in the backyard and vowed that never again would I own a hamster.
This is where I severely over-estimated the intelligence of hamsters.
The hamster did in fact plummet to the floor where I finally picked it up properly (by scooping it and covering it with both hands). The employee said "uh...I think she's ok," (at this point I realized I had also over-estimated the intelligence of the store employees) but since she appeared uninjured I went ahead and signed their pet agreement form promising I wouldn't harm the hamster and made my purchase. Meanwhile my friend had about died laughing and asked me if I only bought it because I dropped it.
Friends are so nice to have.
And yes. I bought it because I dropped it.
When I finally arrived home and reached into the box the hamster was shivering in the corner. I blithely put her in the cage and then left it alone. Partly because she needed to adjust and partly because every time I stuck my hand in the cage the damn thing growled at me.
Although I can't really blame her, my cat thought HE needed to sit on top of the cage 24/7 so I don't know how restful it was.
Long story short? The hamster died. Quickly.
Obviously I had purchased a defective hamster. So I took it to the store, with my receipt of course, and asked to return it.
"Hi can I help you?"
"My hamster died."
"Did you buy it here?"
"...Yes. Yes I bought it here. And it died. I have my receipt, and I brought the hamster with me."
"(opens box) Oh, yeah it's dead. I can give you another hamster or store credit."
"Umm...(quietly) I'd like another hamster."
The manager got me the other hamster. And I (ironically) signed another pet agreement. And I took my hamster straight home, put it in his super clean cage and locked the cage in the bathroom so no cats could get in there. And about two days later? The hamster died.
There was no way I was going to return another dead hamster. So I shamefully buried it in the backyard and vowed that never again would I own a hamster.
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