Kids make you like things you didn't want to: Dora the Explorer

Since my sister has had children I've realized that you can't control people. I imagine when you birth your own progeny you have to realize this too but that's not happening anytime soon. Most of us realize on some level that we can't control other people but then there's children and we think "Well this child is under my care and protection and very impressionable so I do have some measure of control over them." And then you get to know them and realize that they're going to do whatever they damn well please and you have to deal with it. At least that's what happened with my nieces: Thing 1 and Thing 2.

I have always had a fierce and burning scorn for Dora the Explorer.

Wth is on the tip of Boot's tail?

She doesn't speak Spanish very well and the show, in my opinion, is condescending. And then lo and behold Thing 1 went and got SUPER into Dora the Explorer. She watched Dora on YouTube and Netflix and acted out the scenarios from the shows and loved Dora things and Boot things and anything Dora. And Thing 2 got older and jumped on board with her big sis. And I of course have this urge to hang out with these people and want them to love me (because the only approval worth having is the approval of children) so of course I got stuck watching Dora too. And I had to play the games and reenact the shows and do all that stuff because I'm a good sport and have a desperate need for these kids to think I'm cool.

During all of this I still scorned Dora, but I had to stop making fun of her because the Things loved her so much. And sometimes when I was riding down the river in a couch boat for the fifteenth time I found myself getting caught up in the game and willing to play along. And other times when watching the latest Dora on loan from the library I would catch myself answering Dora when she asked her stupid questions. But it's for the kids right?

Wrong. It didn't stop there. Not only did I play the games but I became the characters. I can be a kick-ass backpack or map. And I sat in that couch-boat on the river longer than the girls did. I got way way way to into watching the shows. In a creepy way. I shouted the right answer to Dora and made everyone else in the house yell it with me (she just stares at you waiting if you don't). And nobody screams "SWIPER NO SWIPING" louder than me when that little bastard is moving in on Dora's stuff. He even has the nerve to steal from Boots. Boots! Who did Boots ever hurt? Swiper is hardcore. And now I get legitimately excited when I find Dora stuff. Buy all the Dora toys! They need their own backpacks! Maps! The Dora picnic basket! Dora has a cousin? Awesome! Bring on Diego! The coolest I've ever been in the eyes of my nieces was working at an animal rehab center "just like Diego." And you know what? I was just like Diego. And I was awesome.

And now that I've learned to love these things what do you think these twerps did? Got into Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell! I have major issues with Tinkerbell.

What else does Dora have in her backpack?!?!?