Recently I have been whining that I haven't seen any classic 80's movies. And usually this is how that conversation goes:
Me: "Yeah I haven't really seen any of those classic 80's movies."
Person: "Like what?"
Me: "Um, like Breakfast Club? 16 Candles? Stuff like that."
Person: "OMG YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BREAKFAST CLUB? But you've seen Pretty in Pink right?"
Me: "No."
Person: "WHAT?!!?! Ok but you've seen like Ghostbusters right?"
Me: "No I really haven't seen anyth-"
Person: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! What 80's movies have you seen?"
Me: "Uh...well we watched Indiana Jones and Star Trek a lot at my house..."
Person: "Ok, promise me you will watch *insertfavoritemovie*"
ME: "Oh yeah, totally..."
To clarify, I mean 80's movies that I feel like most people have seen or heard of. This is based on what I have seen, what I grew up hearing referenced and ones that people get actually angry with me for not having seen. Like I've violated some human movie contract. Also I'm not talking weird cult favorite B movies or anything like that. When I say "classic 80s movies" this is generally what I mean (and maybe some are '79 or whatever, who cares):
Star Wars (all), Shining, Blues Brothers, Indiana Jones (any), E.T., Star Trek (any), A Christmas Story, Terminator, Gremlins, Karate Kid, Back to the Future, Breakfast Club, Goonies, Ferris Bueller, Top Gun, Labyrinth, Princess Bride, Dirty Dancing, Die Hard, Beetle Juice, Roger Rabbit, Harry Met Sally, 16 Candles, Pretty in Pink, Ghostbusters, etc. etc.
So of that list above I have NOT SEEN:
The Shining
Blues Brothers
Terminator
Gremlins
Karate Kid
Ferris Bueller
Top Gun
Dirty Dancing
Die Hard
Beetle Juice
Harry Met Sally
16 Candles
Pretty in Pink
Ghostbusters
I believe I have seen Christmas Story and Goonies all the way through, but Goonies I barely saw last year.
Speaking of Christmas Story, I hate that movie. It's creepy, they swear in it and somehow every kid grew up watching it? What? Who let you watch that? It's just weird. AND I also hated Who Framed Roger Rabbit when I was growing up. And I haven't seen it for years, but it's probably still a creepy-ass movie. The guy melting? Terrifying. The weird, weird, WEIRD relationship between Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit? I'm sorry, but that would never happen. There is no way that someone as hot as Jessica would bother with Roger Rabbit. Guy is a moron. And so loud! He's always yelling about stuff. Don't like the movie. Don't like the ride at Disneyland. Don't like it. I'll probably get a lot of crap for it, but I don't like E.T. either. Yes it was ground-breaking and yes it was heart-warming but I just don't have pleasant feelings attached to that movie. I don't know why. It skeeves me out.
On a related note, I purposefully have not watched Beetlejuice every Halloween on ABC family because are you kidding? Looks effing creepy.
I just barely watched Breakfast Club today, and it is a fantastic movie! It deserves to be a classic. But everyone is all over me for not having seen it ages ago and I'm watching it and it's an R rated movie. It has the F word, it has adult themes, it's a legit R rated movie. I ask you, when the hell was I supposed to have seen it? I am 24. Why would I have grown up watching it? I was under age 10 for the 90s? My mother had standards and didn't randomly let me watch R rated movies. I would say no offense to you and how you were raised but seriously? Parenting fail for you my friend, hate to break it to you. I didn't see an (unedited) PG-13 movie until I was...13! Wow. How horrible of me. Watching appropriate content for my age group. Horrible. I didn't see an R rated movie until I was 17. Maybe. It might have been 18. So it's only horrifying that I haven't seen Breakfast Club in the last like 5 years. And CLEARLY ya'll aren't sitting around watching it everyday so when would I have seen it? My parents don't watch R movies. So this is all on my friends. YOUR FAULT.
That can actually apply to any of these movies that are R or inappropriate. And it's not my mom and dad's fault. It's my friends' fault. It is a friend's job to expose you to all the weird, creepy, messed up, awesome, hilarious stuff that you need to be a well-rounded person.
And as for the movies that do not fall into the above category, such as Karate Kid, I don't have a good excuse. We watched Star Wars a lot. And Star Trek. And then we watched Disney! Kid's movies! I was a big fan of Bingo as a kid. I saw it as an adult and it was creepier than any other movie I've ever seen. But it was a kid's movie! I also have a deep and abiding love for Homeward Bound. I still love that movie. I will watch it any time. Any time. And my brother and I watched cartoons! Saturday morning! So sorry for being childlike in my childhood.
To sum up. No I haven't seen your favorite 80's movie. And yes I have probably laughed at a quote or reference you made without knowing what the hell you were talking about. I recognize they are good movies, I promise I am trying to rectify the situation. I'm going to watch Stand By Me tomorrow! I'm getting there. I mostly want to watch it because it has Whil Wheaton in it, but it counts. If you can think of other phenomenal movies that you think "everyone" has seen let me know! And then loan it to me! Or invite me over! If it's so damn important make it happen!
